The College Journals: Bridesmaids And Groomsmen
I’m an emotional person.
I blame my family, really. My grandmother cries every time Extreme Makeover: Home Edition comes on, and my aunt cries on commercials. I truly was cursed to be an emotional, deep thinking person. So even though I have no current plans of getting a significant other, I do think about my wedding day a lot. I think about who will be there. I think about who will be the persons filling those draped seats, and dancing the night away alongside my undiscovered bride and I. I think about those who won’t, those souls that have moved on in my life. But mostly, I think about those select souls who will be standing up there with me, as my best friends.
Many of the spots were filled before I ever stepped on campus. High school gifted me with such wonderful friends that I can still hold onto, and talk to, and laugh with. Four years is truly a small fraction of time in your life, so it’s funny that those mere 750 days have such an impact on our lives. Friends to last a lifetime, I take every chance I get to thank them for the things they’ve done.
But from the moment you meet someone new at college, they begin an auditioning process per say for those final few spots. From the moment they say hello (it’s me), their name is put into a juggling hat. And sure names are tossed from the pool all the time, but that’s the point. Friends come and go, especially in college, so don’t ever feel bad about tossing a few out of the hat.
It will be for the best.
Let’s go back a little bit. Freshmen year. Everyone is everyone’s friend. Your high school buddies that you kinda talked to are still in the picture, and you are attracting new bodies like honey attracts flies. No one wants to be alone in the newly discovered Zou, so for the first few months, everyone you meet becomes your friend. From the kid that lives on the haunted third floor, to the sports fanatics, to your roommate you have nothing in common with but still love the same. Even the front desk attendant offers some form of comradery. You’ve surrounded yourself in a bubble of people you loosely call friends. Nothing can hurt you. Not the thought of sitting alone in Dobbs, or the fear of being uncool to 35,000 people who could care less about your “body count”.
This is phase one of the cycle. It's the slowest in a four phase cycle of finding your bridesmaids and your groomsmen. The other three go by in a flash.
By Thanksgiving, the bubble is starting to cut off your air supply, and the people you once found awesome now have you daydreaming of what it’s like to be Casper the friendly ghost. Just in time, a week off provides the perfect moment to server some of the extra weight, and by time you come back, many of those bodies you attached yourself to barely receive hello’s in the stairwell. It’s not mean, or cruel. It's just nature balancing out overpopulation of your circle.
Make sure to send nature a thank you card.
Phase 3. Christmas is around the corner, and it comes just in time for the true colors of people to start showing through the meat suits. That kid you thought was accepting of everyone? Yeah he only puts up with you because you know a lot of people who look like him. That frat guy that told you he would always be around? He won’t be living in the dorm second semester. And that little hook up down the hall (romantic or not) is really starting to become a noose around your neck. So you shed some more bubbles (bodies), and go on Christmas Break.
And before you even realize it, your hat is almost empty. Of the hundreds of names that overflowed its brim back in August, only a couple dozen remain. Those...are your true candidates. Those are your friends, your future roommates, your drinking buddies, and your tailgating partners. They are the fellas on the baseball team, the people from your dorm, the select group of high school friends that followed you, and those remarkable but random souls that you have no idea how they got there. Right now, I have about five names from Mizzou that make the cut. Some will change. Some won’t.
But that’s what college is for. It’s one big interview for the biggest day of your life. Pick your nominees wisely, but don’t rush. You’ve got four whole years. And just like before, you’ll find those life long friends.
I know I have.
Talk To You Soon,
EICHEL | @EichelGDavis