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  • Eichel Davis

#TheFinal14 | Lost Souls

This is a hard conversation to have. The topic is not fun. So I will be brief.

On this, the eve of Thanksgiving, we as a country and a collective whole are at our most thankful. Thankful for the opportunities we’ve been given, the family we’re surrounded by, and the hope of the future. It’s a time to reminisce. It’s a time to look back, on all the memories that led you to this cold November day in 2017. But in all that, the holidays present an incredible challenge. Because you see memories, the best of them, are about people.

And for many of us, we’re forced to realize that we’ve lost some of those souls along the way. We’ve said goodbye to some of those people.

In many of ways, loss in inevitable in a large community. Every year The University of Missouri sets aside a day to honor, somberly, the ones that we lost in the past 365 some odd days. And every year, meticulously, I read the list of names. I look hard the pictures of plush faces, engulf myself in their stories, in their unfulfilled hopes and dreams, and listen closely to recounts of them from the ones they left behind. And every year, it breaks my heart.

I have been incredibly bestowed with healthy and blessed friends in college. I haven’t lost anyone. I’ve had some scares, yes, but God laid his hand on those instances, and those souls are still with me. But many of my friends haven’t been so lucky. They’ve had to deal with the unfair homegoing of their friends, their brothers and sisters, the forever pals. And for that, I am so so sorry. From the center of my being I am.

You see, Loss is one of those truly indescribable things. To say it’s hard, is to do it no justice. It numbs you. Creates walls inside you. Eats at you in silent ways, often unseen by the ones around you. I’ve dealt with loss, close loss, a few times in my life. Each day, each moment, is engraved forever in my brain, in my conscious. I remember the weather, the way the air smelled, the car rides, the minutes that dragged along afterward, the goodbyes, and the weeks and months that seemingly flew by without giving me my promised “better day”.

We hear that time heals everything. We hear that it can fix even the worse of circumstances. It’s the miracle worker that corrects all. And in a way, it does. Eventually the days do indeed grow manageable. They grow tolerable. But they never grow to be the same as the ones that preceded the said moment. They never go back to exactly the way they were.

And that’s not a tragedy. It’s nothing to feel bad about. It’s not a black cloud hanging over your life. It’s itself.

So as we go through this period, think about these things. Think about all you have to be thankful for. Think about all the memories. Cherish the ones you hold close. And Linger on the ones you can’t hold anymore. It’s okay. Because I promise they’re still up there lingering on you too.

From grandparents, to forever friends taken too soon, they’re thinking about you, as you are them.


EICHEL | @EichelGDavis

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